No political discussion today. July 9th was the first day of the order from the governor so although I am against the mask thing I decided to make the best of it because the stores could get fined. So we get in the store and the mask goes on.
It is inventory day so I have to count all of the bread and buns. I am already uncomfortable with the mask. A couple of minutes in I am having to count and recount my numbers. Frustration is setting in. I pull the mask out briefly to get fresh air and go back to work. One section of shelf holds eight packs of hot dog buns, I can’t get the eighth one in its spot. Frustration again building I throw the pack of hot dog buns on the floor! Cinnamon raisin bread on the top shelf I throw four of them against the back wall because I can’t get them to stand up! Frustration turns to anger!! The pen doesn’t write, I throw it and break it! Empty bread trays get dropped and kicked!! My wife is coming behind me cleaning up. Blood pressure up, feeling like I can’t breathe, face beat red, I rip the mask off my face and throw it on the floor!
My God I can breathe! I need to get out of this aisle! Go count buns in another area of the store. I get there and count the hamburger buns, how many hamburger buns were there again? I still can’t breathe right. I recount three times! I bend over to get some deep breaths, I still don’t feel normal. Count the hot dog buns! Same result as before, how many were there? Oh there is the lady that does price signs, I need a sign. I describe what I need, my words seem slow, what is wrong with me? Am I making sense? I feel foggy! I bend over again to take some deep breaths. She asks if I am OK? My response, ” I can’t wear a fucking mask!” I want to man up, my brain and body desert my wishes! She says it’s OK some people just can’t do it. Do you need to sit down? Do you need a drink of water? I tell her I need to figure it out. I’m tired but there is still a full day ahead of me.
Here is my take. I think I had a panic attack. It took four hours from that point to feel normal again. I never had felt that way ever in my life. My doctor would not give me a doctor’s excuse for not wearing a mask. Most doctors are staying away from this practice so they don’t get sued! Bottom line I am choosing my health and well being over this stupid virus and stupid response. I will figure out some way to wear a mask and not freak out. It won’t be pretty, so before you stand as judge and jury because someone is not wearing a mask, ask some questions first! Keep your shaming to yourself and show a bit of humanity and kindness. There assholes are out there but not everyone is an asshole!